What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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