brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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