I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
