his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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