chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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