apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize