You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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