their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
