im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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