So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
