apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
