and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize