their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
