just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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