Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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