i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize