I am in a vortex of obligation.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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