I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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