I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
