the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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