What a fucking waste of an outfit
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
