He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
