you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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