we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
