was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
