nut hugger
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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