Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Its about making memories worth repressing
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
