One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
