Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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