East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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