ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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