i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
