this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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