I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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