Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize