i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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