Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
