i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
