I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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