that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
