using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
