that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
