i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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