I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
