I wish i was in the wii world.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We are all done wearing pants today
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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