Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
