lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
