sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
