I hate all girls vehemently.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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