you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize