the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
