do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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