come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
