we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize