So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
