i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
