yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
