You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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