Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
