quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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