She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
