Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
